


FYI, Steven, Get Some Help

by blissfall



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, connie is done, steven doesn't know things and it's funny, steven says f
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28628415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blissfall/pseuds/blissfall
Summary: Connie teaches Steven internet slang.
Relationships: Amethyst & Connie Maheswaran, Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lion & Connie Maheswaran
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	FYI, Steven, Get Some Help

**Author's Note:**

> i've had this idea sitting on my to-do list for a few months and i got the motivation to do it during my french class

Connie’s always been used to people not understanding the internet. Afterall, it was essentially her escape from her cramped school days. She’d been used to teaching her parents about things they didn’t understand, like jokes or websites to avoid. She did not, however, think she’d have to teach her boyfriend what text abbreviations were. 

_Steven: Connie what does idk mean it’s an emergency_

_Connie: What?_

_Steven: I asked amethyst what she wants for lunch and she said idk. What does it mean??_

_Connie: Steven, I don’t know._

_Steven: Oh ok, I’ll ask Pearl_

Connie couldn’t help but internally facepalm. Steven never really caught onto things quickly, but he’d gotten a phone when he was pretty young. She never thought she’d be teaching someone her own age these things. She brushed it off anyway, it was probably a one time thing, right? 

Wrong.

_Connie: Oh, just coming home from sword training. I think I stepped on a bug, though._

_Steven: Awh, LOL to the bug_

_Connie: Steven, I thought you liked bugs?_

_Steven: I do?? what do you mean_

_Connie: Steven, ‘LOL’?_

_Steven: Lots of love??_

Okay, Connie cannot take this. There is no way Steven Universe, saviour of the galaxy, Connie Maheswaren’s significant other, friends with aliens, doesn’t know what these abbreviations mean. It’s not possible. 

_Steven: Connie Daniel called me an idiot :(_

_Connie: What do you mean? What’d he say? That doesn’t sound like him._

_Steven: He said “fyi your shirt is tucked in”_

_Connie: I don’t get it, he didn’t say anything?_

_Steven: What do you mean? He said fyi_

_Connie: Steven, do you not know what that means?_

_Steven: frick you idiot, obviously!! why would he say something like that_

_Connie: Steven. For your information._

_Steven: huh_

Okay, that was the last straw. Connie will not let Steven live his life in the dark like this. 

_Connie: I’m coming over, hold on._

Connie hopped over to the house on Lion, warping into Steven’s room. She walked in on Steven about to send another text, sitting cross legged against his headboard.

“Wh- Connie,” he said, “What are you doing here?!” 

Connie marched over to his bed, sitting on the end directly in front of Steven with a serious face. She was so serious about this whole ordeal.

“Steven, you cannot live this,” she started, “I will not let you go on.”

“What… are you talking about?” he replied, confused. Lion yawned, turning around and walking down the steps. He didn’t want to see this play out.

“It’s bad enough you can’t tie shoelaces, but this is something I will NOT let slide.” 

“Wh- I can too tie shoelaces, and what’s this about?”

“ABBREVIATIONS, Steven. Do you know what those are?” Connie leaned forward.

“Uh, yes? The little things you use when you’re too lazy to type the whole thing.” Steven’s shoulders hunched inwards, he leaned into his bed.

“Steven, what does B-T-W mean?” 

“Back to work, everyone knows that.” Steven tilted his head in confusion, genuinely not understanding what Connie was getting at.

“Holy heck, you’re just like my parents…”

“Hey, I’m not like them! Can’t you just tell me why you’re here?” Connie sighed, motioning for Steven to make some room and scooting herself over to sit beside him. She pulled out her phone.

“Steven, I’m taking you to school.” 

“Like… highschool? I mean, I don’t have a birth certificate so it might be a problem but I’d love to be in a classroo-“

“Internet school, Steven.” 

* * *

“Wait, ‘LOL’ means laugh out loud?! What…” Steven yelled, staring incredulously at the screen of Connie’s phone.

“Steven, who else did you send that to?” Connie facepalmed.

“I SENT IT TO SADIE WHEN HER FISH DIED, OH FUCK.” Steven screamed.

“Are you SERIOUS?” 

“I didn’t know! She never replied, do you think she’s mad at me?”

“I’ll… let her know for you, just in case. Please don’t send that to anyone.” Connie dragged a hand over her face in disappointment.

“What if I’m actually laughing?”

“Unless it’s the funniest thing you have ever heard in your entire life.” Connie deadpanned at him.

“Gotcha… and, when to use the word ‘smash?’” Steven wrote down his notes on a notepad, adding in what Connie had just said and sticking his pencil behind his ear. Okay, Connie’s done. She’s finished. Dead. No more. Connie got up from his bed and marched downstairs where Amethyst was leaning against the counter sipping on something.

“Ay, Con. What’re you doin’ here?” Amethyst asked, idly taking another sip from the plastic cup she held.

“He’s all yours, I can’t take this.” Connie hopped on Lion who was laying on the floor by the couch. He stretched his paws, roaring a warp into existence and Connie was gone. 

“Huh?” Amethyst lowered her drink, turning her head to the stairs as she heard Steven shout.

“Connie, wait!” Steven tripped down the stairs as he spoke and held his phone up, waving it frantically, “If I’ve been wrong about everything else, I need to know the appropriate context about when to text smash someone!”

**Author's Note:**

> i think it's come to the point where steven says fuck at least once in all of my fics and i think that's beautiful


End file.
